Kambhakkt Ishq is not so much a film as it is a series of amateurish, silly and sometimes asinine gags, loosely connected with something like a story-line. It will probably make the producer a ton of cash, but otherwise will do nothing for Akshay Kumar's and Kareena Kapoor's careers. While Kumar's turn in film after film gets evermore predictable, Kareena's career may have actually taken a step backward with this monstrosity.
Set in Hollywood, the film tells the 'tale', if one may call it, of the hate-hate relationship of the film's protagonists, Viraj (Kumar), a Hollywood stuntman, and Bebo (Kareena) an aspiring surgeon who moonlights as a 'supermodel'(no less). Predictably, this egoistic gender war ends with the pair falling head over heels in love and getting married. In the mix is one of the worst sidekicks ever in Vindoo Dara Singh, a mysterious 'sue-er', Keswani, who bears no connection with the goings-on whatsoever, played by Javed Jaffrey, a caring Dolly aunty (Kirron Kher), whose sole purpose for the few moments that she shows up, is to convince Bebo that marriage is a good idea and a deaf doctor, played by Boman Irani, who really had no business being in such a film. Oh, and the supporting pair of Aftab Sivdasani and Amrita Arora have nothing much to do other than look adequately sad as they stand back and watch the film's lead pair destroy their marriage as result of their ego trip.
And the gags, well, the less said about them, the better. We last saw 'the surgeon leaving his watch behind in the patient's stomach' gag in Jaspal Bhatti's Flop Show years ago. While it was funny as a 15 minute sketch, played out superbly by the deadpan Bhatti, here it is almost half the plot. No prizes of guessing that it gets boring really fast. The dialogue mainly consists of swearing, mouthing bad english lines and screaming 'Bhai'. The music is insipid and unimpressive.
This film is more of a 'golden turkey', than a 'golden baby', something Denise Richards wants to produce with Viraj. Seriously, who approved the dialogues?!? Even His Royal Akki-ness and Diva Kareena can't save this one. It was fun watching Stallone spout hindi dialogue though. Never thought I'd see the day.